the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
