ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't deserve a penis
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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