Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
