she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize