You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
