You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize