she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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