Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My vagina just clenched in fear
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
