I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
