So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
