just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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