You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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