i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
