Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
