I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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