we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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