So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
