...so i touched it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
