i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
