Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
