oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
