So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
