btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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