i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
