How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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