is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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