I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Found your dick twin last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
