This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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