Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
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That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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