It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
