I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
