She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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