Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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