I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
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I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.