Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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