i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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