I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
