That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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