I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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