you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
