ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wish you could order shots online.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
