$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Enjoy the penises
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
