my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
