did you get engaged???
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize