I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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