Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had to cum in my sink.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
