You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
