I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
