I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize