Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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