so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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