This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
