I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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