I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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