she looked like the before picture.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
