I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
