do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
