I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
