we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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