I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
