oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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