She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
