walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
