This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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