In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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