i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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