You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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