How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
