wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
